Not All Cats Are Nice
by Iris Fieldsman-Hale
Summary: On a case in Portland, a policeman doesn't seem entirely... normal. Suspecting he's a vampire, the Winchesters follow him and realize nothing is as it seems with his little family of three.
1. Achilles Heel

"Agents Ratekin and Jokinen." Dean lied with ease. "What do we got here, Mr... Uh..."

The man in front of them was... unusual, to say the least. Golden eyes - like Azazel - long, white hair despite barely looking 25, and red eyeliner on his upper eyelids only. His facial structure was mildly feminine, with Asian features and skin paler than porcelain. His bangs parted evenly over his forehead, though that appeared to be the only thing he paid attention to with his hair.

"Sesshomaru Achilles." Answered the detective. "Pretty weird case, this one."

Sam gave a small smile. "That's why the FBI is here, Detective."

Clapping his hands together, Sesshomaru stepped forward. "Alright then. So!" He made a broad gesture to the crosswalk. "A man was witnessed running into the street out of jackshit nowhere_ here_. I know this street pretty damn well - my sister and I go here all the time - so I know there's very good visibility from where he would have been. He obviously did see the car."

Golden boy's blase attitude set off all of the remaining warning bells in Dean's head. "So why'd he run out to the middle of the road?" The hunter asked.

"By witness accounts, our killer was on some kind of drugs. She's on the second floor up in the building on the right- saw the whole thing. Mrs. Callahan was already about to call an ambulance when she saw the vic' run into this street lamp." Clarified Sesshomaru as he indicated a lamp bent around the front of a wrecked Forester. The Winchesters followed him around the busted car. Upon the cement lied a gruesome cadaver, half torn to ribbons.

"His throat looks... gnawed out." Noted Sam with disgust as he knelt beside the corpse.

Dean scowled. "Looks like our killer is on something pretty bad."

Backing up, Detective Achilles intoned, "I'll leave you two here. If crazy was my deal, I'd be working psychology in a mental hospital like my brother."

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru knew the two "FBI agents" had followed him, but he honestly didn't care. They smelled like hunters - something he had no problem fighting.<p>

He didn't know what he expected when he opened the door to his apartment - vampires, like the one he could smell at the scene? More hunters, maybe? - but Rin painting in the living room wasn't quite it. He stared at her for a moment as she swirled crimson paint onto her brush, moving it downward as she slowly painted in the tips of a golden-red rose Inuyasha drew.

He took a moment to marvel at how much his adopted sister had changed in the 508 years since they met. Gone was the little girl in the checkered kimono- Rin was 5'2", in scribbled-on jeans and a once gray shirt now sporting a spattering of paint in every color. Although immortal, she'd stopped aging at 16, making her cigarette addiction from the 1800s a surefire thing of the past. Her spiky black hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, though it kept falling out.

"Sessh, what's wrong?" She asked suddenly, her voice shaking him from his reverie. "You're looking at me like I have three new arms."

Shaking his head, the demon smiled at her gently. "It's nothing to worry about. I'm just going to call Yasha really quick- we should expect visitors tonight."

* * *

><p>Inuyasha pulled his car to the curb, musing about how lucky his siblings were that he was so adept at magic. They probably didn't even have to fight the hunters in the awesome car, perched across the street from their apartment complex. He was a bit curious about how they knew which apartment was theirs to be honest.<p>

Time to find out.

Holding his hand out (beneath the dashboard, of course - hunters always think magic is deadly, even the harmless spells, so them seeing him holding a clawed hand out would go poorly) he whispered, "_laever ruoy snoitentni_!"

Instantaneous information flooded his mind. _Sam and Dean Winchester. Hunters. Brothers. Vampire case. Sesshomaru is a suspect. Investigating the apartment at 10:30 PM_.

Having learned all he needed, the hanyou retracted his spell and slipped out of his car.

'_This should be fun_.' He thought, suppressing a smirk.

"Hey." Sam said, poking Dean in the rib. "Check out that guy."

Dean removed his attention from the window which had the mailbox labeled Achilles. Sesshomaru- along with a dark-haired teenager who must have been the sister he mentioned- lived on the 23rd floor.

Hence, binoculars. Old, dirty binoculars. Binoculars that left him with raccoon eyes.

"What guy? Dean asked as he scrubbed the black rings from his face.

Sam waited for his brother's attention, then pointed him out. The man - 22 at most - had the same golden eyes and white hair as Sesshomaru, with darker skin. He wore black jeans and a dark red t-shirt, with a black vest over it. His brown-with-red-laces boots seemed to have stains that were either dried mud or blood.

Dean's money was on the latter.

"I think we got the nest, Sammy." The older brother hissed. "Just a few more hours and we'll gank these mothers."

/ Slowly, silently, the Winchesters crept up the stairs.

When they finally reached room 221A, Sam knelt to pick the lock silently. Dean was fully expecting to be there for 5 minutes, so it shocked him when the door just creaked open. It had been unlocked...

Almost like an invitation in.

The two brothers were greeted by the girl, who hadn't bothered to change from her painting clothes. When she saw Sam and Dean, her brown eyes shone- not with fear, but with amusement.

"Boys." She greeted, flippantly tossing her Mp3 to the coffee table in front of the sofa she was lounging on.

Dean kept his gun trained on her. Sam proceeded to the rest of the house, searching for blood bags or the small child who had disappeared.

"Ooh, is that a 1911 Browning? Personally I prefer the Colt Anaconda, they literally give you more bang for your-" The girl babbled, interrupted by Dean clicking off the safety on his aforementioned pistol. "Okay, no girl-talk. Damn, you're touchy..."

All Sam was able to find was a small jar of blood and a syringe loaded with the stuff. "Nothing else, but this is-"

"Dead-man's blood. Vamp knockout juice. Yeah." The painter confirmed. "We're hunting the vampires too. I'm Rin Achilles. You're the Winchesters, I know."

Dean blinked in utter confusion. "Hold the fuck up, you're hunters?"

Rin shook her head, giving a rather condescending smile. "A demon, a half-demon, and an immortal priestess actually. We hunt whatever endangers us. We're pretty good, but we do have to move a lot. My brothers sniffed out the nest earlier- Sessh flew them out a window- so I'll tell you where they are so I can pack our shit. The crossing of Belmont and Hawthorne, red and white building. Have fun."

* * *

><p>Inuyasha stepped into the building, and all eyes immediately centered on him.<p>

_Living. Breathing. Almost-human blood. Food. Recruit him. Make him ours._

That's all vampires truly care about.

At least, until you cut one of their friend's heads off.

The hanyou boredly flicked the blood from his claws as the vampire who had first moved to eat him fell before his feet, dead. Indignant, furious roars tore throughout the room. An older man launched at Inuyasha, not even reaching the fall of his jump's arc before Sesshomaru stepped forth and snapped his neck like it was a twig.

(Given the fact that he was a full-blooded demon, to him it was less than even that.)

A butcher's knife was thrown at Inuyasha's head at speeds that a human eye likely couldn't even track. Given that he wasn't human, the middle Achilles sibling caught it and promptly cut a gothic teen in half. A sparkle to his left caught his eye- someone was trying to sneak up on him with a weapon whilst Sesshomaru was distracted by his 5 assailants.

"_Trevnoc elcsum otni yrettab dica_." The hanyou snarled, smirking when he heard a burning sizzle from his left. Gruesome deaths always left an impression.

Sesshomaru ripped his fully extended claws into the chest of his final vampiric opponent, tearing outward from the inside seam of his lungs. It was good that he had left his denim jacket at home- now his stonewashed jeans, navy-blue shirt, and black sneakers were the only things getting spattered with vampire blood.

"Fuck, I got some in my eye." Inuyasha complained, taking time to scrub blood from his eyes as he set another few on fire. Before they started slashing, 35 vampires had been in the room. Now only two remained, huddling anxiously in the corner

The demon chuckled darkly, walking toward the two bloodsuckers. "Are you two going to tell me where the little human boy is?"

"B-b-bi-Bite me!" Stammered the boy, shrinking into the taller woman next to him when golden eyes sent him a promising glare.

"If you want." The taiyoukai snarled, showing his fangs and purposefully letting some of his natural toxins drip from one and burn the floor. "You'll dissolve, but if that's what you'd like, I'm more than happy to oblige."

A small squeak passed the lips of both vampires.

Inuyasha stepped forward, revealing his own fangs in a hollow smile. "Here's the deal; tell us where the kid is, or we'll make you."

"As if." The woman scoffed in some masquerade of bravery. She appeared to be 30, but with vampires you could never really tell.

Sesshomaru drove his claws through her arm calmly. As she wailed in pain, he noted, "I don't think we need to explain more."

"...Go. Burn." She spat.

"What's that?" Questioned the demon. He twisted his wrist slightly, and she wailed as his claws dragged through her muscle tissue.

"Fine!" She screeched. "He's... Secret chamber- don't know how to enter, no one tells me- he's... food for the fledglings. One of them got out and she's the one who ripped out that kine's throat, okay? Stop!"

Sesshomaru removed his claws with the calm of a practised professional. "Of course. Thank you."

Inuyasha placed his hand on her wound gently, murmuring a quick reparative spell. "You two can leave as long as you swear not to kill any innocents."

The two nodded, absconding with repetitive thanks.

Sharing a meaningful glance, the brothers started ripping the place apart in search of the little kid.

* * *

><p>When the Winchesters arrived at the building, a massacre had already come and gone.<p>

Piles of thinly-shredded vampire corpses littered the floor all around them. Some were in bloodied heaps of scrap and bone, others had deep gashes arcing across their chests. A few appeared to have been burnt by acid, fire, or both.

In the center of this gory mess, Sesshomaru and the other guy - the one who had convinced them though sheer appearance that they found the vamp nest - were clearly searching for something... or someone.

Finally, they discovered a switch that opened a tiny trap door cleverly concealed in a corner. Sesshomaru dropped in without hesitation, though the other briefly stopped.

"Hi." He said bluntly. "I'm Doctor Inuyasha Achilles. No, I'm not a medical doctor. Yes, I'm half-demon. I'm also a witch. 'Kay, thanks, bye!"

With that, he hopped down through the trap-door.

* * *

><p>"The city looks so pretty," Rin sang. "Do you wanna burn it with me, 'till the skies bleed ashes-"<p>

The priestess froze mid-jam session, eye catching on something in the upper right corner of the apartment wall. Something silver and shiny, blending almost perfectly with the gray lining of the crimson wallpaper.

Almost.

A bug was not the best thing to have in their apartment. Depending on when it had been placed, the itty-bitty camera could have seen through her brothers' glamours- exposing them as magic-using demons.

(Inuyasha being a half-demon, but that wasn't the point.)

Slowly, Rin lifted her bag and dropped her MP3 in. She carefully freed a dagger from its confines, knowing what was probably coming next.

From the apartment beside her, a muffled scream sounded and was followed by a sickening _rrrrrrrip_!

Rin scowled. She hated it when vampires killed her neighbors, as it was a definite sign that they had to move.

Again.

Luckily, they had done this whole kill-monsters-then-get-the-hell-out routine enough that she had already packed both of her brothers' and her own suitcases.

They hadn't moved enough for Rin to anticipate the door crashing down.

In the smashed doorway stood three vampires. She could tell by the animalistic expression on the faces of the couple who lived down the hall that they were fledglings. However, Eleanor from _right next door for six fucking months _seemed triumphant as well as hungry.

"I knew there was something strange about the incense you always burn." Rin announced. Eleanor smirked triumphantly, her elderly-looking face looking more distorted than normal- and considering how her paper-white skin always contrasted with her dyed blonde hair and bloodshot eyes, that was saying something.

A move of the old vampiress' hand had the two fledglings charging Rin without discretion. The woman was slightly faster than her boyfriend, prompting her to run throat-first into the waiting silver-and-hawthorn dagger. Upon seeing it, Eleanor shouted for her new recruit to retreat; driven by vengeance and bloodlust, he either didn't hear or didn't care.

Roaring, he charged her with blind strikes. Rin dodged almost all of his strikes with ease- only a few skimmed her.

She kept dodging, moving, weaving, even as her assailant tired. Maneuvering around the exhausted and weak punches, she let him continue until...

Slash!

The priestess stopped playing with her prey. Maybe the giant slash across his chest would teach him not to play his _devastatingly awful _60's music so loud.

Scraps of life clung desperately to the vampire, even as he bled out. He crumpled slowly to his knees, red eyes losing light gradually. Rin had no patience for it; the priestess kicked him into the coffee table without a hint of hesitation.

"You're just as bad as those delinquent brothers of yours!" Roared Eleanor, who looked rather hysterical. "They destroyed my nest, and I will avenge-"

The vampiress was cut off by the ever-interrupting sensation of a knife piercing her throat. Rin gave her convincingly-innocent, '_who, me_?', heart-melting smile- at odds with her hatred-filled eyes.

"Shut the fuck up, alright?" The immortal crooned. "Thank you."

A choked gargle, and then the third vampire slumped to the floor.

Rin was about to sit back on the couch and celebrate with some more Hollywood Undead when the sight of blood on her hands made her pause.

She rushed to the bathroom, cursing creatively when she saw her clothes were awash in red. Maybe she should have stayed in her painter's outfit after all- her white tank top was now mostly crimson, and her jeans had rips from the attacks she hadn't quite dodged. The hems had bloodstains, too - from stepping in little puddles formed by dying vampires- and her feet felt unusually squishy.

Ew.

"Rin! We trashed the nest, did you get our- ho-lee..." Inuyasha never ceased to have good timing.

The youngest of the siblings shot him a deadpan glare. "Now can we leave?"

Throwing his pack over his shoulder, then throwing Rin hers, the hanyou nodded. Sesshomaru sprinted in at the right time to catch his bag. "When we dropped the kid at the precinct, they got the "Public disturbance" call around here. I can hear the sirens. Let's go."

Swearing, Rin grabbed Sesshomaru's gun from the holster and shot the tiny camera. "I can hear 'em too, and we're on the 23rd floor!"

She tossed her brother his firearm, then they took off for the elevator. Inuyasha slapped the down button, and the three of them held very still.

Five seconds ticked by. Maybe five minutes. Could have been hours. Immortality made tracking time annoying.

"I don't hear the elevator." Her brothers chorused.

When the middle sibling ripped the elevator door open, they saw something that shouldn't have been shocking. The cord was severed, dangling uselessly.

Inuyasha shook his head, maintaining calm over his anger. "Alright. I have a glamour spell, I can switch their appearances with ours for a while. _Desiugsid morf enik_!"

A rippling sensation passed over Rin's skin, then the glamour settled into place. Normal people couldn't see their true appearances like this - only those who knew of the existence of the supernatural.

For all intents and purposes, they were living, blood-free versions of the dead vampires. Even their fingerprints matched.

On the floor beneath them, the vampires had a bright shine to their skin. This indicated the fact that they were under the effects of a glamour as well- although this one was permanent. To the naked human eye, they appeared to be Inuyasha, Sesshomaru and Rin.

Their cadavers, to be precise.

With the spell-work accomplished, they bolted for the stairs.

23. Stories. High.

Oh, and to make their day even more amazing, the SWAT team was already 15 floors up.

Sesshomaru swore creatively all through their descent. Finally, they came face to face with the officers. The priestess recognised the strain in her brother's brow- he knew some of these people personally.

"Put your hands behind your head!" One of the men barked, waving his Uzi in a threatening manner. "On the floor! Now!"

"But they're stairs, what do I do?" Rin asked sweetly. She really hoped Inuyasha had the sense not to make her Eleanor. She did not want to get sassy with an officer as a 60-year-old.

"On. The. Floor."

She pouted, raising her hands in surrender.

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha followed suit, but as soon as the hanyou's hands were level with his head, he shouted "_Og ot peels_!"

Simultaneously, every officer on the SWAT team collapsed. Some were snoring, others drooling.

The taiyoukai turned to Inuyasha, eyebrow raised. "You got peels?"

"Shut up and run while they're asleep, fuckhead."

* * *

><p>Dean still didn't know why they had agreed to wait for the Achilles family.<p>

Sure, they had saved a kid and ganked thirty-something vampires. Of course, they were centuries old and knew the world and its monsters better than possibly even Cas. Yeah, a psychologist, a detective, and an immortal teenage priestess would be helpful with hunting.

That didn't mean he had to like waiting when there were cops _right fucking there_.

When Rin peeked out of the complex's glass door cautiously, he braced himself for all hell to break loose- surely, the two officers would notice how she was drenched in blood.

They didn't even flinch.

Blinking, Dean couldn't help but grudgingly marvel at Inuyasha's magical appeared to be asking for permission to leave; when one officer attempted to refuse, the hanyou barely had to twitch to make him change his mind.

As the officers began arguing, the siblings hurried over to - and promptly hopped in the back seat of the Impala.

"... Can't hold the glamour charm much longer." Inuyasha warned, face pale. Now that Dean got a good look at the three of them, he noticed a sort of starry quality to their skin. "Won' work on you, cause you know about magic n' stuff."

Dean nodded. "Alright, let's roll."

He started the car, and very inconspicuously started to drive away.

* * *

><p>They reached a hotel pretty quickly, though Rin and Inuyasha had to stay in the car- the priestess because she was soaked in blood and didn't know how to place a glamour upon herself, and the witch because he was apparently very cranky when he just woke up.<p>

Cranky meaning setting everything on fire.

A small television set pinned to the ceiling revealed a hunt on three people's heads for the presumed murder of Inuyasha, Rin, and Sesshomaru. The fact that they had apparently taken out an entire SWAT team with "knockout gas" didn't help their cases.

Sesshomaru turned to him, mouthing _'vampires'_ to explain the reality of the situation as the newscaster went on about a possible terrorist organization. Dean gave an understanding nod, then gave the receptionist his (fake) credit card.

"Terrible." He noted - Dean saw that his name tag read "James" - before scanning the card. "Who would butcher a little family like that?"

Sam shook his head, shrugging. "Psychopaths?"

James squinted at Sesshomaru as he gave Dean back his card. He had a seperate glamour on now, provided by Rin - who wasn't very good at magic. The illusion barely held under his scrutiny.

Giving a polite wave, the youkai dragged Sam and Dean out.

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru carried Inuyasha carefully, making sure that he didn't wake his brother. The last time that had happened...Well, remembering made him shudder.<p>

"So," Sam began as soon as the door shut. "You're a demon? Who are you possessing?"

Giving an irritated sigh, the older man set his brother on one of the beds. Dean and Rin got one room - he could hear them avidly discussing rock bands from here - and the three of them got the other. "I'm not one of those _kemuri no nisemono_ you're used to dealing with. I'm a _inu-taiyoukai_. A Japanese dog demon, one of the most powerful in existence."

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment before asking his question. "In that case, how do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't, I suppose." Answered the silverette, though it wasn't really an answer at all. "Although, you smell like you've had dealings with fakers before... Just know that _we_ have emotions. Almost all of them are psychopaths; youkai have an emotional spectrum that surpasses a human's by far."

The younger Winchester brother sat down across from Sesshomaru, gazing at him seriously. "_Almost _all?" He asked slowly. Even from that distance, the taiyoukai could see him mulling that over.

"Well, they wouldn't be a species worth a name if they didn't vary a bit." Sesshomaru noted flippantly. "Keep this in mind, Sam; not all cats are nice, not all demons are sick sons of bitches. Any more questions?"


	2. Miss Independent

Dean leaped off of the couch, growling low in his throat. "Fuck this. I'm going after them."

"Sam and Sess haven't even been gone two hours." Inuyasha replied, glancing up from his book to raise an eyebrow. "Why are you suddenly so worried?"

Yanking on his leather jacket, the hunter replied, "Usually Sammy has at _least _checked in by now. Isn't Sesshomaru the same way?"

"Usually we all do our own thing." Rin replied, not bothering to stop playing her Mario Kart DS game. "None of us are likely to die without a giant explosion first, so we find calling every 5 minutes unnecessary."

"So you guys aren't coming." Dean summarized.

She rolled her chocolate-brown eyes. "I'm 5 foot nothing and everyone thinks I'm dead, so my IDs are useless for now. Good luck getting me into a bar. Inuyasha... well..."

"After an unfortunate incident on a mountain involving a narcissistic monk, some sake demons, and a microphone, I want as little to do with alcohol as possible." Inuyasha explained, flipping the page. "Don't ask me any more. You _really _can live without knowing."

Sam had come to gamble or get wasted. Both sounded good, actually - however, he was doing neither.

Who knew a smartass demon could be so distracting?

"...So instead of doing the _logical _thing and shooting the fucker," Sesshomaru continued, "She starts monologuing. I'm talking full on Shakespearean-length lecture here."

"Oh my god." Sam chuckled.

"Right? So, Naraku is this evil son of a bitch that's bent on ruling all of Japan at the very least. He doesn't want to have a conversation with this chick. Turns out he'd already killed her earlier." The older man just shrugged at his friend's confused expression. "And she thinks that he loves her and can't kill her again. Don't ask me where she got that idea. I mean, really..."

Sam was about to make a witty remark, but then his stomach started giving a familiar churning feeling. His mouth went dry, and he started fidgeting restlessly.

_Ruby._

He turned, seeing the demon leaning impatiently against the wall. Apparently the animosity the youkai had for demons ran both ways; Ruby glared murderously at Sesshomaru without daring to move closer.

At that exact moment, Dean decided to walk in, striding right past Ruby without bothering to glance her way. Sam felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

"Hi." Sesshomaru greeted with a little salute. Something about his demeanor seemed snarky, but pointing that out would probably end poorly.

"Hey." Dean replied flatly. "Listen, Sam, you should have called me an hour ago. I thought something had happened."

The younger brother smiled, then said ruefully. "Haven't even been able to get drunk."

Sam kept his fingers crossed (albeit mentally) that if he just held still and talked to his respective companions, Ruby wouldn't-

_Ka-chink!_

Come over and shove her knife into the table to be intimidating. As the bar's patrons turned to stare at the noise, Sam realized he really needed to stop hoping for things that aren't going to happen.

Dean jumped, hand flying to the expertly-concealed gun on his hip; Sesshomaru stood, eyes seeming to flash red.

"Whoa, guys, wait!" Sam protested. "It's Ruby. She's our _friend!_"

"Friend?" Sesshomaru repeated. "You're kidding. That's a fucking-"

Ruby smirked. "Kem-knee whatever. I know." She noted coolly. "It means _Fake Smoke_, right? Like you have any right to call us fake, shifting your own form to look human."

By this point, the youkai was clearly struggling with his temper. "Funny, I'm not the one lecturing out of a stolen mouth."

"She was already dead when I possessed her." Ruby growled, leaning past Sam and over the rickety table. Dean tensed further, ready to kill her if she so much as twitched. "If I leave, she's not gonna live long anyway-"

"Oh, my mistake." Sesshomaru sneered. "You're talking out of a dead woman's lips. I should have known. Here, how about I put you _both _out of your misery-"

Sam had to grab both demons by their arms to keep them from throttling each other. He threw bitchface number 47 in Dean's general direction, but he just mouthed, "_I'm with him on this one, dude._"

"If you could _restrain_ your urge to throttle me," Ruby said delicately, "I actually came here to give you guys some important news. The demons and the angels are all going after a girl named Anna Milton, who broke out of a mental hospital last night."

Sesshomaru looked unimpressed, but Sam nodded. He could see where this was going; they'd save the girl, stop another seal from being broken, etcetra.

"You're kidding me." Dean said flatly. "Why the hell should we even believe a word out of your mouth?"

"Not even her mouth, if you want to be technical about it." Sesshomaru supplied helpfully.

Nodding, the blond glared at Ruby expectantly. She scowled. "Fine. I just came here to _deliver_ the information. You do what you want with it."

With that dramatic proclamation, the demon stormed off. She left her knife sticking awkwardly from the table. Sesshomaru glared pointedly at her back until she disappeared through the doorway.

"I used to act like that." He told the brothers. "All it got me was pain and a spectacularly shitty sword."

They paid for the (untouched) drinks, took Ruby's knife, and left.

"We're going to find that girl, huh." Dean's tone didn't make it a question.

"Yep."

Inuyasha peered at the Google directions curiously. This appeared to be the home of Anna Milton's parents. The smell of sulfur hung in the air oppressively, smothering the hanyou's sharp senses.

This didn't bode well for Mr. and Mrs. Milton. Dread poked its way into his stomach; if the demons killed Anna's parents, then they likely stuck around to do the same to her if she tried to return to them.

He didn't even finish walking to the driveway - having been dropped off by the Winchesters in the general neighborhood moments previously - when the smell of death hit his nose.

"Damn." He cursed to no one in particular. He could track their killer by the scent of blood that still lingered, but Inuyasha _hated _being late.

Particularly when lateness cost someone their life.

He charged to the right, noting the fresh metallic smell and the convenient shrubbery, and launched an aerial roundhouse kick directly into the poorly-hidden perpetrator's face. The demon in question roared in pain, skidding back on the ground and then leaping to his feet.

"Hello, doctor." Sneered the demon as he stood. His hooked nose was bleeding from the impact, and Inuyasha wasn't entirely sure whether his nasal voice was caused by the injury or if it was natural.

"Have we met?" The hanyou asked coolly.

"I don't believe so. My name is Alistair." He replied with a yellowed smile. Inuyasha hadn't seen teeth that disgusting since Charles Lee's. "I've been running things downstairs since your brother killed the last King of Hell."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Of course you have." The albino gave a condescending smile as he spoke. "Nice to meet you. I'm Queen Elizabeth."

Alistair grinned. "Oh, a witty one! I haven't killed one of you in _years._" He removed the knife from its hiding spot under his host's waistband.

Tensing, the hanyou shifted into a fighting stance. "I take it the Miltons weren't much for conversation." He noted coldly.

Smirking, the demon surged forth. He made an effort to slash open Inuyasha's side, but he had leaped up and out of Alistair's sight range before he could blink.

The heel of Inuyasha's boot collided with the back of his opponent's neck with a loud _crack_. "Some king." He growled as he landed.

When the gold-eyed man's feet touched the ground, they were knocked out from under him abruptly. He collided lopsidedly with the grass.

Alistair snapped his head back into its correct position calmly, like it hadn't been bent near in half by Inuyasha's kick. "Aren't I just?" The demon sneered.

Annoyance flared in his stomach, and it was released in a subsequent wave of power when he next spoke. "_Tsalb mih kcab_!"

Magic created a shock wave that launched Alistair back a ways. He hit the ground rolling, then hopped to his feet with a taunting grin. Inuyasha stood, pulling a switchblade of his own.

"Ooh, shiny." The demon cooed with a downward slash of his blade. "Can you use that little knife of yours, or did you forget how?"

Inuyasha met the attack with a frown. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Only that your assassin days were centuries ago," Alistair cackled. "And you might be a little rusty on your fighting skills!"

His eyes widened, and this was taken as Alistair's cue to strike with his free hand. Inuyasha caught his fist easily. He brought his foot up, smashing his boot into his opponent's knee and knocking him off his feet again. He snatched Alistair's knife from his hand, holding the blades of both knives to the demon's throat.

"Who told you about that?" He snarled.

Alistair smiled, and it contrasted rather horrifically with the insanity in his eyes. "Your victims." He elaborated. "The toxic wine was a nice touch for the corrupt mayor, I'll give you that. I quite liked the little knife you kept under your -"

Inuyasha glared at him and moved his arm to strike; Alistair saw this and abruptly shot out of his host like the man's ass was on fire.

"Wait a minute!" The gold-eyed man protested as the pillar of smoke rushed past him. Paying him no heed, it ascended.

"Shit." Inuyasha muttered. "Shit shit shit shit _shit!_"

Meanwhile, Dean and Sam were having a fair bit more luck. They speed-walked back to the Impala hurriedly, hopping into it.

"How did it go?" Sesshomaru quizzed, leaning forward from the back seat.

"This Anna chick is the real deal." Sam replied. "She has an entire drawing book devoted to the broken seals. The resurrected Holy Man, Samhain -"

"Sawin." Rin corrected absently.

"What?" Dean sent her an odd look as he backed out of the parking spot.

Sesshomaru nodded. "We lived in Ireland a while ago. It's pronounced _Shav-nah_ in the original Gaelic, not Samhain... But the pronunciations can vary dramatically by region, because it isn't the same everywhere."

"Like with British people saying 'Core' instead of 'Corp'?" Sam suggested as Dean pulled onto the road.

Rin nodded. "Exactly." She enthused. "But most people just say "Sawin" now instead of Shavnah. There's probably a story behind that, but whenever the hell it happened, we were in America."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "How long have you guys been here?" He wondered, turning a corner.

"Uh... I think we first got here in seventeen... forty... something." She mused, shrugging. "It's been a while."

"A while." Sam muttered. "Right. You were here before the American Revolution, and you've been here _a_ _while_."

The elder Winchester pulled to the side of the road, allowing Inuyasha to clamber into the back seat.

"How'd it go?" Rin quizzed, shifting Sesshomaru's elbow away from where it had been pushing into her rib cage.

"I met the king of hell." Inuyasha replied tersely. "He apparently took over when Sess killed the last one."

Both Winchester siblings turned in their seats to give Sesshomaru a startled glance. The demon shrugged. "A hell-hound ate Rin." He said. "I couldn't just let it happen. It was my fault anyw-"

The brown-eyed girl fixed him with a stubborn glare. "I told you it wasn't!" She scolded. "I was standing in the wrong place -"

"Because I dragged you to -"

"Bullshit, I could have left any time I wanted -"

Inuyasha sighed. "They've been arguing about this for _five hundred years_." He explained to the still-astonished hunters. "Just drive."

The church Anna had attended was beautiful in its simplicity. White paint framed intricate stained-glass windows, the largest of which was circular and up about two or three stories.

"You got her scent?" Rin asked her brothers casually.

"Upstairs." Inuyasha confirmed.

Sesshomaru, whose nose was more precise, added, "She's very close to the window. That seems like a bad idea."

With that, they took off. Inuyasha had to briefly stun a clergyman to ensure he had no idea what was going on as they bounded up the stairs.

They entered the church's loft. Rin noted that a Virgin Mary statue on one wall was crying. Her tears were made of water, not blood, so it was clearly a reaction to Sesshomaru instead of a real threat.

"Anna?" Dean called out, tone reassuring. "Are you there? We're here to help you."

Silence.

Slowly, a young woman stepped out from behind a screen. She had dark red hair, pale skin, and dark green eyes. Her lips were pink, the bottom one slightly marked from being chewed on nervously. An olive-green jacket laid modestly over a button-up shirt that was undone mid-way down her breasts.

Rin's face started to warm up as she ripped her eyes back up. "Uh..." The priestess mumbled intelligently, "Hi."

"Who are you?" Anna Milton questioned. Her tone held an equal mixture of fear and fatigue, and Rin suddenly wanted nothing more than to find her a comfortable bed in which to rest.

Inuyasha dimpled at her. "I'm Inuyasha Achilles." He introduced gently before beginning to gesture toward the others. "This is my brother, Sesshomaru, and my sister, Rin. The other two are Sam and Dean Winchester."

She brightened immediately. "The Winchesters? They've talked about you!"

"Who?" Sam asked curiously.

"The angels." Anna exclaimed. "They talk about you all the time. Especially Dean."

Dean blinked. "Me?"

The redhead nodded enthusiastically, joy bringing light to her eyes. "They say you're the Holy Man who will bring an end to the demons trying to start the apocalypse."

"You can hear them?" Rin asked, awed.

"It started a few months ago. Just one sentence... '_Dean Winchester is saved._ It picked up from there." She looked between the Winchesters affectionately. "I feel like I know you."

Rin smiled at Anna. She was absolutely precious.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news..." Sesshomaru warned, pointing toward the Mary statue, which was now crying blood. "But we need to get out of here. _Now_."

"Oh, but don't leave the party yet!" A nasal voice boomed from the hallway. The door was kicked down by a balding man who appeared to be in his late thirties, with a hooked nose and a malevolent smirk.

"Hello, Alistair." Inuyasha deadpanned. "Nice to see you have a type."

Dean froze up at the smoke demon's name. Rin pulled her dagger, assuming the blond's tense form meant something bad.

Alistair began walking closer, smirk never fading. "Dean. It's been too long." He crooned. "We missed you back home, you know, especially on the rack. Weren't you having the time of your life with us?"

Inuyasha stepped in front of the Winchesters and a horrified looking Anna, shielding them with his body - and by extension, his pistol. "Come closer." He challenged. "See how that goes for you."

"Is that a _dare_?" The demon quizzed, laughing madly. "I'll take you up on that!"

* * *

><p><strong>TBC <strong>(Again.)

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**_SunnyStormCloud:_**

Thank you! C;

_**anonymous chick:**_

Cue nervous laughter. I, uh, I'm _horrible _at updating. Sorry!


	3. Fangs Into My Back

Not All Cats Are Nice

Chapter 3 | Fangs Into My Back

"Nice gun." Alistair noted, cackling. "Where'd you get it, Assassins-R-Us?"

"Shut up." Inuyasha snapped back. Dean was used to hearing this sort of conversation from his time in hell - in which Alistair took someone's weaknesses and threw them in their faces - but there was something even more unnerving about seeing it without hooks in his shoulders.

Possibly because he thought he'd seen the last of the King of Hell.

"Ooh, touchy." The demon cooed. He refused to stop smirking. "If I didn't know better, I'd almost think you regret it... But I do. You _enjoyed_ your work. Rebelling against the system. If I recall, your specialty was sed-"

Inuyasha shot Alistair in the shoulder. "Next one will go into your _head._" He hissed. "What are you doing here? Why do you need Anna?!"

The King of Hell glared daggers at the half-demon, who wasn't even slightly cowed. "Mind your tongue, boy." He remarked, an edge coloring his tone.

"Why mind mine when I can sever yours?" Inuyasha spat, tone acidic. "Plan. Details. _Now._"

"Yasha." Sesshomaru spoke up, bracing a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Calm down. You know what happens when you get too temperamental."

A tense silence.

Inuyasha dropped the gun, but he still punched the smoke-demon in the face. The impact sent him flying, his injured shoulder colliding with a wall before the rest of him. Needless to say, the fucker was out.

Relaxing minutely, Sesshomaru lifted Alistair over one shoulder. "Let's go." He muttered.

Anna had apparently started hiding behind Sam as soon as she saw Alistair's face, and looked grateful to leave.

Dean agreed.

/****/

"So," Rin began conversationally once they reached the relative safety of a nearby abandoned old shack and the still-unconscious Alastair was tied down, "Do you have any idea why you became attuned to Angel Radio?"

"Not a one." Anna replied sadly. "I wish I did - maybe then I could go home to my parents."

Dean and Sam shared troubled looks. Inuyasha paused mid-sketch. Sesshomaru choked on the coffee he really shouldn't have been drinking at 3 pm anyway.

"Uh, Anna..." Sam began slowly, "Your parents... You do know how demons do things, right? Your parents were a target from the moment you were put in that mental hospital."

A pause as it began to dawn on Anna what the far-too-tall man meant.

Sesshomaru, who believed firmly in the "ripping-off-the-bandaid" method of breaking news to people, set his cup on the table. "Anna, Alistair killed your parents."

She wailed, and Rin immediately encircled Anna in a tight hug. Inuyasha snapped something about their older brother having all the tact and subtlety of a rampaging elephant.

Several minutes passed. Quiet prevailed over the room, only disrupted by the redhead sobbing into Rin's clavicle.

"Oh, shit." Inuyasha announced about two seconds before the door crashed in on the hut. Two men stepped in, seemingly unperturbed by the harsh weather outside. One was a black man in a nice suit, a mischievous smirk on his mouth; the other was a pale guy with sad blue puppy eyes in a beige trenchcoat.

Rin squinted at the pasty dude. "You look familiar." She observed bluntly. "And also like you're in desperate need of a shave."

"I am not sure what you mean." He puzzled back. His voice was low and gravelly, like he'd been gargling salt water. "I shouldn't be familiar... This is hardly the same host I had when last we met."

Sesshomaru's eyes widened in realization. "... _Castiel_?" He questioned incredulously.

"Hello, Sesshomaru. Hello, Rin, Inuyasha, Dean, Sam." Cas greeted. The Winchesters yet again were taken aback by this turn of events, but when Sam opened his mouth to ask how they knew each other, Inuyasha simply mouthed '_I'll tell you later!_'

Rin beamed. "Good to see you again too, Cassie. Is this Gabe's new ride with you?"

"Nah." The other angel piped up. "I'm Uriel. Nice to meet you."

Inuyasha dimpled. "Uriel! I've heard of you. Sodom and Gomorrah, right? That was you?" The half-demon chattered amicably.

"You've heard of my work!" He looked delighted, and Rin noted Uriel's remarkable resemblance to a Bond villain. "I'm flattered, but we're not here for reminiscing. My associate and I are here for the girl."

The affable atmosphere dissipated in record time.

Dean stepped between Rin and Anna's little huddle - the redhead was still clinging to the miko for dear life - and the angels, tense as all hell. "What the hell do you want her for?" He demanded.

Rin tried to give him a warning glance, because he was the most fragile fighter in the room, but he wasn't facing her. Of fucking course.

"We want Anna." Uriel replied coolly. "Give her to us, and no one gets hurt. Capisce?"

"Um," Inuyasha folded his arms. "No."

Sam edged toward Rin and Anna, cautiously extending an arm in a shielding gesture in front of them. It was sweet, but unnecessary - this wasn't Rin's first run-in with angels, and wouldn't be her last. She'd be able to defend herself and Anna just fine.

Then she realized he was doing it to reassure Anna they weren't going to give her over and felt like an asshole.

Meanwhile, Uriel's smirk grew tight. "I'll say it one last time." He ordered. "Give. Us. The girl."

"You lay a hand on her and I'll cut it off." Sesshomaru snapped back coldly.

"If the lot of you are done being over-dramatic," A nasal voice interrupted, "I've got a fucking rope burn."

Oh, right. Alistair was still there. Tied to a chair in the middle of a binding circle, but there. Rin hadn't given a single solitary fuck about him in the wake of Anna's plight, so she'd forgotten.

"... You have the King of Hell tied to a chair." Uriel observed bluntly.

"I kinda punched him out." Inuyasha replied. "The perks of being strong enough to rip a tree out the ground and use it as a baseball bat include a killer right hook."

"You _punched_ the King of Hell hard enough to knock him out." Castiel stated. "And brought him back here."

"That's what I just said, Cassie." The witch deadpanned. "Your memory hasn't gotten worse since the last time we saw you, has it?"

Uriel and Castiel now looked mildly concerned at the prospect of fighting them. It was probably Sesshomaru they had to worry about the most, not Inuyasha, but it was still satisfying to see angels reminded that they weren't the sole species capable of toppling entire cities.

Fucking _tools._

"I'm willing to make a trade." Inuyasha continued, breaking Rin from her thoughts. "We keep Anna, okay? In return, you get someone far more dangerous; Alastair himself. You get to torture him all you like, and we find a way to get Anna off angel radio without your involvement. Does that sound good?"

Uriel scoffed. "You think we're going to make a _deal_?" He sneered. "With _you_?"

"I'm literally handing you the _King of Hell_ on a silver platter!" Snapped the half-demon. "Unless you've a plan to explain to your bosses how Alastair managed to get killed when you could've brought him into heaven's custody and gotten a major lead in the war, I recommend swallowing your pride."

A tense silence. Those seemed to be a recurring theme.

"Agents of heaven don't deal with demons, let alone half-breeds." Uriel responded firmly.

Inuyasha shook his head. "It always comes back to the bloodline." He grumbled, exasperated. "And we were getting along so well. Cassie, you got any input?"

Dean shot Castiel a hopeful look. Rin, being more jaded, tightened her hold on Anna.

"We cannot afford to pass over this opportunity." The angel of Thursday allowed. "We will take Alistair and retu-"

"You're kidding!" Uriel protested. "We have to take back-"

Castiel sent him a sharp glare. "We will take Alistair," He repeated, "And we will. Return. To. Heaven."

Inuyasha beamed. "Good to see you're still smart." He said.

Those blank blue eyes locked back on the witch. "Thank you." Cas rumbled. "We will have to take Alistair up immediately."

Sesshomaru chuckled dryly. "Well, you have fun with your new toy," He encouraged, "And tell your big brother to go fuck himself, okay?"


End file.
